My Hunger Will Go On
This morning I weighed myself at 240.8. This is a nice big step down from my starting weight of 246. I got onto the treadmill for my ten minute morning flail, and discovered my maximum running time increased from two minutes to two and a half minutes. I barely even coughed like a cold miner.
I went to gaze at myself in the mirror for a while. You definitely can't notice any change yet, but I still felt so encouraged and confident that it made me feel extremely positive about myself.
Then I got to work.
I thought I was gonna have a late client, so I had my lunch at 11:00. That was my first mistake. Far too early. I started getting hungry again, I kid you not, at noon, when I normally eat. I tried to fill up with a ritz cracker sandwich pack and a sweet and salty trailmix pack, but I had no luck. This being the office of hell, the kitchen was full of tempting treats; a frosted bundt cake, mini carrot cake cream cheese frosting sandwiches, another dessert I didn't examine closely, and... puppy chow.
Puppy chow is one of the most delicious, most dangerous substances known to man. Scientists who have analyzed it have detected traces of cereal, chocolate, powdered sugar, candy, and cinnamon. And the texture... it's like you bite down on chocolate that's too airy to even hurt your teeth (the first trumpets of warning against your sins). I had a small handful, then I went back for another. Then... another. Then I tried to stop, which is when I found myself face to face with the beast: inexplicable clawing hunger that makes no sense given it's 12:45 and I've already eaten 800 calories.
Let's talk about my emotions, captive audience!
Fear - holy crap I only have 500 calories left for the day and eight hours before I can reasonably go to sleep. I'm going to die.
Hunxiety - It's like Hanger but actually more dangerous. I feel that gap in my stomach, screaming that it's time to eat, it's time to eat, and there's an implicit threat in it; the threat that if I don't eat, something bad could happen. I could pass out, I could lose my mind... something.
Despair - I realistically don't know how many calories were in that puppy chow even though I tried to count it. I could do the whole rest of my day to the best of my ability and still end up going over. How long do I really expect someone like me to hold out against continued trials like these? Even if I
survive today... most people trying to lose the weight I want to lose end up having to do this at least a year, longer for maintenance!
Irritation - Hunger makes me irritable. I guess it's just hanger. I had to stick my headphones in and turn on the soundtrack to the Lord of the Rings.
What have I learned:
DO NOT EAT BEFORE 1:00 YOU CAN'T HANDLE IT
I went to gaze at myself in the mirror for a while. You definitely can't notice any change yet, but I still felt so encouraged and confident that it made me feel extremely positive about myself.
Then I got to work.
I thought I was gonna have a late client, so I had my lunch at 11:00. That was my first mistake. Far too early. I started getting hungry again, I kid you not, at noon, when I normally eat. I tried to fill up with a ritz cracker sandwich pack and a sweet and salty trailmix pack, but I had no luck. This being the office of hell, the kitchen was full of tempting treats; a frosted bundt cake, mini carrot cake cream cheese frosting sandwiches, another dessert I didn't examine closely, and... puppy chow.
Puppy chow is one of the most delicious, most dangerous substances known to man. Scientists who have analyzed it have detected traces of cereal, chocolate, powdered sugar, candy, and cinnamon. And the texture... it's like you bite down on chocolate that's too airy to even hurt your teeth (the first trumpets of warning against your sins). I had a small handful, then I went back for another. Then... another. Then I tried to stop, which is when I found myself face to face with the beast: inexplicable clawing hunger that makes no sense given it's 12:45 and I've already eaten 800 calories.
Let's talk about my emotions, captive audience!
Fear - holy crap I only have 500 calories left for the day and eight hours before I can reasonably go to sleep. I'm going to die.
Hunxiety - It's like Hanger but actually more dangerous. I feel that gap in my stomach, screaming that it's time to eat, it's time to eat, and there's an implicit threat in it; the threat that if I don't eat, something bad could happen. I could pass out, I could lose my mind... something.
Despair - I realistically don't know how many calories were in that puppy chow even though I tried to count it. I could do the whole rest of my day to the best of my ability and still end up going over. How long do I really expect someone like me to hold out against continued trials like these? Even if I
survive today... most people trying to lose the weight I want to lose end up having to do this at least a year, longer for maintenance!
Irritation - Hunger makes me irritable. I guess it's just hanger. I had to stick my headphones in and turn on the soundtrack to the Lord of the Rings.
What have I learned:
DO NOT EAT BEFORE 1:00 YOU CAN'T HANDLE IT
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